Sorry dear heart.

   
 
 

When I'm writing this, I had a very strong feeling of sentiment. I don't know, unknown reasons are making me feel this way. But perhaps one of the reasons is because I turned blogging-inept for this 6 months and now I'm finally coming back to home and yes I would say this is my home it's pretty much a self-owned world to me where I could declare myself as Princess as if I'm really am and not getting response like "Oh she's so vain who she think she is" and negative self-esteem destruction remarks whatsoever.

Time flies and throughout this 6 months' period I've definitely grew up. My life's being a roller coaster ride. It has its ups and downs and crazy curves but nevertheless fun. I shall begin with the biggest down-part. Straight-forwardly to say, I broke up. And this is not merely hooking up and breaking up. My experience of breaking up isn't nothing without it's pain, tears, dismay and sorrow. Through this relationship only had I knew how blind-folded am I and how possibly ever stupid and dumb I could ever be. But after all these kickings and throwings and tears-shedding and head-bawlings,  I started to get tired and ponder deeply, and realised that I've got no one to blame but myself. All these while I've been so reluctant to fall for anyone. When it comes to love I'll put my guards up because of a terrible past experience I've seen and being a victim myself really affects the way you see things. Maybe happy endings don't exist. I was upset why someone who said I will never ever hurt you, are the ones that hurts you the MOST? Heartbroken, I've made up my mind to move on because in life, you will never get to know everything and anything about someone. As I've once told a friend, everyone has 3 lifes. Public life, private life, and lastly, secret life. The latter is the one that's most harassing and often is the one that ruin things.

I felt like a fool. I played your games and stood up for my excuses but all they led me to was PAIN. I feel like I should never even bothered, I feel like you've played me.

Next time, don't love someone too much, it will eventually disappoint you. All left behind were the memories. Memories won't fade. I have plenty of sweet memories with him we created them together. Having a sharp memory is good, but sometimes the ability to forget is much better. Memories are the ones that could make me smile, and at the same time,  draw tears from me. I'm glad that I've walked away from you. You don't seem to top me or even by any chance want me back either. I don't know. It was like, you took me to the stars, but didn't bring me back. You just let me fall. But if I'm not good enough to deserve you, then you don't deserve to have the best of me. My needs are simple, all I want is someone who can prove that not all men are the same. I thought you were different. Clearly, you have to much to conceal. This is pathetic.

Pains made me stronger. Tears made me braver. Heartbreak made me wiser. So I'm thanking you, my past, for me having a better future and I've had more time for other things in life. I've finally got to appreciate the quality times with family and friends. And most of all, the penchant which I've ditched all because I wanna spend time with you. Clearly I'm directing this to blogging. Know what? I don't want my old and broken heart. You can have it. Cause I'm creating a new and stronger one you can never have.

Frankly to speak, my thoughts always drift to you and the times we shared, but then I remembered how you broke my heart and realised I'm so much better off :)

They say, usually the girl with all the smiles, are the one with the most heartbreaks. Yes I'm the one. But I will prove this saying wrong. One day I will :)

Love is just a fairy tale. I'm not Cinderella, and prince charming is just a scam.

Forever and ever? Promises? It's a lie..
What's LOVE?
Land of lies. Ocean of sorrows. Valley of death. End of life.
I'm out. Right now, all I can say is that I'm happier now than I've been in a really long time and it feels so damn good!

    

Royal COME BACK

You know I've always wanted to do this.

  

"HELLO ALL MY LOVELIEST DEAREST GORGEOUS SPLENDIFFEROUS READERS!

I AM BACK!!! "

Yes after more than half a year since I last blogged, I finally made up my mind and decided to dive into the world of blogging again!

But since the time lapse was rather huge, I have no idea where shall I begin with my post. Fret not, I would definitely come back to you sweetest readers who have been encouraging me and be with me come rain or shine. I would also like to take this initiative to thank my little sis, Angel, who's the driving force to me to come back to writing. 

Stay glued for my upcoming posts! 

Loads of LOVE! ;)

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

♥ APRIL

Pooling around.

    

   

   

  

Frankly, pool is not a girl's thing. That was my first impression of playing pool. Few years back, I always thought pool was for geekos and gangsters. Can't really blame me. There were quite a number of pool centres operating somewhere near the outskirts of town where I live in which those gangs of teenage boys usually visit and play pool.

 Not until I first got my hand on the billiard and really poked the ball, I got madly in love with this game! And thanks to my dear friend Vin Tsen who invited me to join him and other friends from our college, I realised that pool could be my thing as well! Not just for males. And this V8 pool centre Genting Klang was way too different from the pool centres I've seen where those centres have awful coloured neon light tubes and dark opaque window panes. Looks more like an illegal dealing spot to me. But this place was much cleaner and bigger! Dang I really look forward to my next visit! I miss playing pool already.

This is how we communicate. With the advance technology, we type through our iPhone and stick it on the window glass for the other side to see instead of choosing the long way to walk to their side and talk face-to-face.

  

Keith's on alcohol-high. Perhaps.

From left: Keith, Cammy, Vince, Mei Yen

  

  

Love birds. 

No idea why was he squatting down.

Camwhore!

Mei Yen.

  

  

Vin Tsen.

  

Mei Yen, me and Cammy.

  

Affaf and I. 

Vince with Mei Yen's bb and sunnies. He wore it in a funny way so I decided to snap this picture. For rememberance sake. Or to laugh? I'd choose the latter! ha ha

 
 
 

 
 





 ♥ APRIL
 

Youngest cousin's graduation performance day.

     

  

   

 The day before the graduation performance of my smallest cousin, mommy and aunt was so busy choosing and picking the right outfit for her to wear for her performance. But the dress code was somehow, I cannot accept it. It specified that girls should wear a spaghetti strap tank top or sleeveless top and tights for the bottom part of the outfit.

 I've never expected my life at Malacca (which is my momma's hometown and where my grandparents live) would be so excited! And I was never been told about this graduation performance day of my smallest cousin, which, if I were to know that she's going for a performance in school, I would  have brought all my make-up accessories and stuffs and borrow her my still-well-kept kiddy raiment to her! After all, there's no point letting those clothes stench and grow mould, right? Well not that I've not given most of them to her and her sister. Just, I still have those vewy vewy pwetty princess pinkish dresses hanging in my wardrobe which whenever I look at them, I have the strong urge to wear them. Thank goodness I'd control my quirkiness and crazy thought or otherwise..

And I had been awaken up since the break of dusk just to get her prepared! Make-ups, hairdos, styling, all-in-one! I had to admit that it was no easy feat. As everyone may think that a child's dressing up maybe simple and easy, well you might as well go try and comment it later.

So after those hurry-ups and on-again, off-again hair making, I got fed up and simply tied a pony tail plait. The pink headband which you'll be seeing in the pictures below, was a very, I repeat, VERY last minute decision. I was actually about to put it on my head but I then realised it was best suited for he, since she was wearing all-pink.

  

Shall I introduce, this is my youngest cousin. Her name's XinYing. 6 years and 2 months old.

Naughty but cute. Bites when being annoyed. Approach with caution. Her weapon: the voice. Piggy boy told me that her voice sounds like a doll. Indeed, her dolly voice was a gift from heaven. If only heaven would minus the missy-arrogant attitude of her. Ahh can't blame. She's the youngest of them all!

  

   

This is my second smallest cousin who's also at the age of 6. Just a few months elder than XinYing.

  

  Little poser illustrated a "10". Don't know what it meant though.

  

    

  Baby talks?

  

 Story telling.

  

   And the performance starts! I would name this as "The Fishing Song". Cause this song is about a kid with a fishing rod weighted on his shoulder happily goes fishing in a sunny day and caught lots of kind of fish including a gold fish, a  tortoise, a mermaid, and a shark! Climax rose when the kid caught the shark where they went running around as though they were running for their life to avoid the fierce shark! 

   

  

And this was the time where the kids were handed their graduation certificate from the Director of the kindergarten. 

  

  

  

And that was the day for the graduation! Few days later a fancy dress party was held but sadly I came back to KL or else I would have dolled her up as her favourite princess character! But having to attend such an event, it really serves as an eye-opener to me as this was far more different from the annual performance of my pre-U that I've been going to. Nevertheless, despite the over-packed small venue which I would suggest the graduation to be held in bigger halls, it was one enjoyable day I spent with my little cousin as I have never done anything like this before in my current life!

  

  

     

  ♥ APRIL

  

  

  

   

Golf no boring NO.

  

When piggy boy first knew I was so into playing golf, he couldn't help but to laugh at me. Okay not only did he laughed, he teased about golf being so boring and mundane without excitement and so dull. He said golf is only a game for uncles and for socialising purposes that makes him dread! He thinks it's a dumb game. I was speechless. I could not bear to listen to someone who degrades golf as a game for nerds! I gave him a stern look. A face that looked like this (-.-) 

Okay it was just squishy eyes and lips pursed that is all.But it did wonders! Cause when i flashed my stoned look at him, he instantly changed his attitude and start pleasing me, hoping that i wouldn't be unhappy or get mad over it. And you know the way he made me smile was so cute and so warm that i wanted to hug him so bad. He even agreed upon playing golf together with me! Having someone who loathes golf so friggin much yet willing to give it a try for girlfriend's sake, my heart melted.  

  

  

  

  

   

Been playing golf since the age of 12, ever since daddy bought me a set of golf clubs as my birthday present that year, which I was tremendously shocked. Daddy would then bring us to the driving range at least once in a week and would coach us to play the game.

   

 Occasionally, I do shoot some balls once every full moon. Releasing this bottled up feelings within, more like venting my anger in every drive.

 Not to say I've found the thrill in playing this game but I wouldn't say no to it. I know dad was earnest about playing it and i think it's the business network he's after.

  

 All things aside. I do love the 'thud' sound when the club hits the ball! Gives me a sense of achievement. Though i know i hit not very far. At most 50m. And I got blisters before I manage to tackle all the golf balls in a bucket which is the way the balls are presented to us.

Anyway I still wouldn't give up :) 

 OH and thanks piggy boy for these candid pictures. Uhm the 3rd one wasn't candid as I was sticking my tongue out looking at the camera. 

 Till the next!

  

  

  

  

 ♥ APRIL